Amy Duggar speaks out against her monster cousin, yet assumes the best of him like any other ATIA cult drone obsequious housewife. No, no, no, Amy. It isn’t only porn nor is it the worst of the hardcore kiddie porn. Half the Duggars believe Joshie Poo made a booboo then there’s this super rebellious spirit Amy, who thinks Josh Duggar pretty much has just a porn problem.

I don’t have patience for many people, because so many people I’ve met, will eventually hit their own wall of limiting beliefs, and what they DO allow themselves to believe is nothing of significance and they waste time on their soapbox saying nothing of value.

This must be part of the show 🍿. I’m hanging on every Duggar detail since my family and my brother Stephen, is from the same cult with our own Network political ties in “high” places.

I look forward to JUSTICE.

A Gross Feeling

One perpetually gross feeling, is when I think about how Dad would make me (MK Ultra hypnotically induct me) to flirt with older men from a very young age and on up until adulthood.

Trust me; I could snag anyone. This, too, is why I trust no one completely. Blindfold me, spin me in circles and the first ass I point at is one of the unnumbered SEX SLAVE men who succumb easily to the wiles of a three year old.

My Firstborn

Due to the fact that I was mind controlled into compliancy; when I was 12 and gave birth, my parental unit told me they had legal rights over me AND my baby since we were both minors. I was made to feel as if I was complicit with her horrifyingly traumatized nonstop rituals and rapings, ending in her death and cannibalization. This was not my only pregnancy as a minor, but part of the mind controlling of me, is that I was unable to make my own decisions and felt I would go to hell if I was ever “Outside my father’s blessing”.

I read just now, on Ezra Cohen’s TG, how this “information warfare” is now “physical warfare”. I don’t want to sound arrogant, but damn. I’ve been in a physical war from before birth. Thanks for showing up while claiming to be badasses, while your government salary, perks and bennies will always be in excess to anything I’ve known and you’re still fighting for your vet rights. Thanks for showing up because you were a sleeping lion and someone just woke you….. but Ive been fighting my entire life, and usually, without being able to physically move a muscle. I have been the brunt of every joke and my physical body has been abused by the “elites”. I don’t get my murdered children back, I don’t get salutes from comrades who share my forever “brotherhood”, I don’t get sniper medals, I don’t get as good of health care, have just enough money to pay my rent, but I’ve been fighting longer than anyone who thinks they saved me.

One day, it would be nice to be recognized as the unconquerable warrior spirit that I am.

All from “Adrenochrome & Human Trafficking” on TG

Platforms and businesses like those of Elon Musk’s are bringing OLD technology into the public eye. I had a chip implanted into my head when I was four. Neuralink is a NEW name for very OLD government-controlled technology.

People selectively retweet Elon. I like some of his past tweets like when he said “I have a Stargate to Andromeda”. I also like when he said (straight faced) on a TV interview “I am an alien”.

The world is SO asleep (and intellectually redundant).

Is your god a psychopath?

The politically canonized Bible has some truly sadistic depictions of the One True God.

How can anyone claim to follow God, while defending forced cannibalization of infants, genociding and eradication of entire people groups and even the forcing of a raped virgin’s marriage to her rapist? I can and have backed up these claims, not just with chapters and verses, but with a lifetime spent disecting these “scriptures”. Yes, the One True God is portrayed in many places in the Old Testament, as COMMANDING these acts. Does the CREATOR have lapses in judgement or temporary psychopathy?

Being a Bible thumper is not a badge of honor. You’re entitled to believe what you wish, but again I challenge your claims of a psychopathic Creator! These are sadistic fabrications of scriptures meant to enable terror acts against innocent victims of God’s creation.

Check yo’self!


Cloning and “People Pods” as I called them, are very old and well established practices by the CIA and military industrial complex.

I could really give two shits who believes me on this subject because I know what technology is going to be disclosed soon through avenues like “Elon Musk’s” tweets and more.

I’ve been cloned EXTENSIVELY, while in Dark Fleet, before they “Used me up” (referring to my psyche–more or less), and have witnessed these technologies used on unnumbered others.

One day, you will know and your world will never be the same.

Watch “Protests in US after leaked draft opinion to overturn Roe v Wade” on YouTube

This reminds me:

My Sadistic, right winged, cultist, pedophilic, cannibal family are also “PRO LIFE”. Satanists come in all forms; even “Christian” and “Pro Life”. Dad was on the board of Crisis Pregnancy Center of Snohomish Co. And knew (and would discuss with Aunt Kathy) where all the pregnant girls/women were. He kept tabs on their births and the babies in dumpsters and toilets. Let nothing go to waste…

I grew up standing on street corners with poster board sandwich signs carrying a “Pro Life” Message. When I was older, I was winning prizes for walkathons and writing bills to remove state funding for abortions while serving as senator in my states Youth Legislature.


Dad always carries a white handkerchief in his pocket. I used to think it was only to clean up our mouths and messes since he is so fucking sick. Turns out he had more than one reason.

Another thing: when I was being heavily targeted in Alaska and had just fled to Kenai (traffick CENTRAL) I was being surrounded by green handkerchiefs in back pockets and on people’s heads. So it turns out green represents hustling and prostitution.

Also while in Kenai, I finally got a hysterectomy so I would no longer be hunted across state lines, targeted, raped and impregnated. After one pregnancy, my doctor failed to tie my tubes, as per my written birth plan. I was hunted from then on, and unable to safely get free from the terrorizing. It started to get better after I was able to get a hysterectomy in Kenai.

I call her “Shariah”. It means “Daughter of the king”.

When I was 11, and before I got my first period, my half brother got me pregnant. He raped me so frequently, that I never even had my first period. It’s possible. It happened to me. I gave birth at 12 in my room and in a bloody mess. My family called her “Linea, the Torchbearer” which has Luciferian meanings. She was raped and ritualized so horribly that she died before 2 1/2 weeks old. They took her and Stephen primarily (the father and my half brother) CANNIBALIZED her.

I want JUSTICE FOR MY BABY and all the rest of their kills.

“Unverified Stories”

To the “Patriots” who supposedly fight for freedom:

Do you only believe what you’re spoon fed? Exactly what would “verify” my story …to YOU? My death? DAMN! Such DIPSHITTERY. I’m alive and talking and you claim to be a freedom fighter. What in the bloody HELL would satisfactorily “Verify” my story for you?

Us trafficking victims and blood trafficking victims have a hard road of it when half of the supposed allies, who claim to fight for the children, refuse to believe us. Utilize your God given intellect and search out what we claim to have lived through. Your tiny and redundant world will fall down around you.

Watch “Mother, stepfather and boy, 14, found guilty of five-year-old’s murder” on YouTube

I long for the day when my father, aunt and older half brothers are found guilty of abuse, rape, murder and cannibalization of my first child.

I have no problem believing headlines like this because it is all too common and usually does not make it to the news because the Network covers all the bases and professional cleaners take over.

Oh yeah, that reminds me: my x husband is/was one of those Network cleaners. I helped name his business front as Hammond’s Home Detailing Services. He uses steam to lift every kind of stain.


Human traffickers often use churches for their business transactions.

Growing up in a right winged, Republican, pro-life, conservative, cult AND CIA owned human trafficking home; I was frequently bought, sold and traded in the foyers of churches; starting at a CIA honeypot op called “Calvary Fellowship”and later at another honeypot op called “Westgate Chapel”.

Later in my adulthood and at the favorited symbolic age of 33, I was married to a Black Mafia kingpin. This pimp would dress me up and take me to the largest church in Bellingham, WA, near our apartment. He told me that “Sanctuaries” were the best places due to Sanctuary Laws (a real legality of Maritime Law or whatnot).

My x husband was a pimp/child trafficker/human traffickers with a similar ideology to that of the Muslim Brotherhood which started the Black Mafia. He would never even go in to the church services, but would just keep out in the foyers for all those handshakes and connections.

Sanctuaries can be very evil places.

Satan Never “Had” Me.

This is a post dedicated to the misguided religious zealots, from more than one religion, who claim that Satan is trying to get me “in his grip again”.

Quit smokin’ rock.

High vibrational Starseed children of God get attacked in ways that others do not.

If you hold more light than another, you mosdef WILL experience more darkness. HOW in heaven or Earth does that make me “in his grip”? I’m waiting…

Quit smokin’ crack and educate your spirit before you come at me again.

Watch “23-year-old woman to Tucker: I regret transitioning as a teen” on YouTube

Sharing this on my WordPress since Helena is on Twitter and I’m not trying to detract from her story.

When I was young, as I’ve touched on here prior, I was put through some heinous experiences, that if verbalized, will leave the reader with imaginaryland concepts and would be hard to ground as fact. I guess there is no reason to worry about the readers’ impressions, though, because more of “me” are out there and WE know what is real (in a more realistic way) than how many people live their lives.

In Satanic Ritual Abuse, there are rituals with an end result which can be achieved with black ops technology from the CIA (as I was part of a CIA owned family) and the end result can also be achieved through Satanic ritual. This Satanic ritual would sometimes take place in afternoons, etc. I mentioned before how my aunt would “pop quiz” style do this stuff. Again, it’s hard to write, knowing how the haters will hate, but the fact is that Freaky Friday body swapping is not only possible, but a regular part of trauma conditioning in some circles. My family was in that circle. Those of us who were swapped and raped as the opposite sex, felt in more ways than one, that we were a boy and a piece of trash. I speak not only for other survivors who can’t or won’t articulate, but I speak for my nonverbal alters, some who are unnamed, and one who was known as “Kris”. There are traumatic memories of being doped, and no longer inside this body. I woke up, one time, inside my brother Ryan’s body in his bed (with his cars and trucks bedsheets). I was in a larger body than I was used to and, in addition to being equipped differently, my aunt was by my side grooming me in how to feel as a boy. In the other room, there was no spirit in my body and my female form was back in my bed in my own room. Dad was busy raping my body without me in it. There are so many levels of sadism. Cannibalism is bad, but this is more enduring, almost. It is the WORST feeling, like Helena describes, being groomed by others into body and gender dysphoria when you almost don’t have a chance to survive in your own skin at all to begin with. The trauma is so severe. I went through the same grooming and dysphoria but without the faux gender naming. I felt so horribly about myself so many times.

One way for some intelligent people to truly understand the science of my claims (of body swapping) is to compare the scientific process of removing the spirits Adma from one body and tagging it to a clone. This very real process moved the spirit from body to body almost seamlessly. I’ve experienced this extensively. It DOES exist in black programs, SSP’s, and Hollywood, for starters. Powerful and expensive people use it, too. I experienced incalculable swappings between clones while within Dark Fleet, primarily.

I’m speaking up so that my pain will have a purpose and so my voiceless alters can heal, in time.

Shockingly, I am not in complete disarray… there are those people I’ve interacted with who think I need psychotherapy or an exorcism because of how I tell my story, but instead of giving in to their ignorant DIPSHITTERY, I will simply ask them to peruse the website. They will be the ones needing psychotherapy.


The medallion on the top shows a vertical 7 pointed star of the Tsalagi people who became captives of “Cherokee Nation”.

The medallion on the bottom, with minted date shown on left, shows that 7 pointed star turned upside-down.

This is symbolic in so many ways, including how they subverted my ancestor’s story and enslaved those who now identify as “Cherokee” and “Cherokee Nation”. My ancestors are Tsalagi. Colonial/Cabal word bondage has many in its grip.

You can see this blatant and symbolic type of inversion in insignias and emblems all over the place; including on law enforcement badges in the United States.

It’s interesting to note that I fully remember being my own ancestor. As Tsalagi, we did not differentiate the oneness of all people, except by identifying features and clan locations, etc. It was the European influence that brought word bondage, which they were all enslaved by themselves.

Nowadays, I am finding my Creator’s rule of law being called “religion” by those who still practice black magic inversion word bondage. There is no religion, only one path that is true. This path is the same path I taught as a “First Peoples” “Story Keeper” and the same path I followed as a Tsalagi woman, who cooked medicinal food for her people. I follow, as best I can that path now. The cabal has subverted the same one path which my Creator articulated to numerous people groups through Earth’s story… So many people fight over the words that hold them captive. I seek the same one path that is for all mankind.

What is Islam’s true meaning? Submission to my Creator. La illaha il Allah!

So Much Hate

I’m not weak by any means. I feel so much at any given time that when I do feel other’s hate toward me in any way, it can be absolutely excruciating. Some people believe themselves to be tough, but in truth they change themselves to fit into another’s mold of what is acceptable, to keep the pain away.

People have never understood me so I don’t know why I would try and internally kill myself, over their opinions. Conversely, however, I leave myself open to pain if I also intend to channel unconditional love.

It’s so difficult to take blows from people who don’t even know, truly, why they hate my faith. It hurts to hear feedback from people who think I’m a fraud and a liar. It’s difficult to meet so many self proclaiming “Patriots” who have no time for survivor stories and yet, claim to fight for the children. SO MANY slammed doors. What EXACTLY do these people fight for if it’s not EVERYONE’S freedom?

As it pertains to my faith, I can understand others intolerance, because I’ve been more oppressed by sickos claiming my faith as their own, than most people who hate Islam for other reasons. I used to be gang stalked by people so frequently and often times was terrified of people walking around in full body burqas, too, since I couldn’t tell the thugs from the Saudi ladies. It was really hard. I’ve also been physically owned by an x husband whose belief system is similar if not sympatico with that of the Muslim Brotherhood, who do NOT follow Islam. So many people hate online and won’t even give me the time of day, simply because they see that I am Muslim. Ironically, however, terror and genocide and even CANNIBALISM is COMMANDED in the Old Testament that they claim to follow. MY Quran does not tolerate any of these things. They don’t see us worshipping ONE GOD and feel like fighting me over societally programmed hate. I have every reason, based on logic, to hate these people, but I’m told in my book that it is better to be merciful because God is merciful.

If we all serve the ONE Creator of all that exists, how is it that others can possibly believe this Creator is also sometimes borderline or psychopathic. God is NOT a God of terror. I AM NOT YOUR ENEMY.

It hurts to feel and hear and see so much and to feel it with such excruciating detail.

I don’t expect everyone to automatically believe me at first, but no matter the disbelief or bad programming I sense in another human I interact with; I somehow ALWAYS think that they will choose better than they usually do. I literally have too much hope for humanity and this, in turn, leaves me feeling hopeless.

What a conundrum.

In addition to this, I acknowledge those who are supportive and are also freedom fighters and am grateful for them, but some days it is hard to feel the good over all the negative.

You’re A Fraud

It’s so hard to live for so long with people thinking I’m lying, or making things up or simply a fraud.

My life is beyond real and I have no one to believe me and hug me in my living reality.

I need hugs.

I have no one.

It’s pathetic.

It hurts immensely, to be supported by random persons, online, but in day to day life no one exists. I’m now on the lowest rung of society and looked at like I must have screwed up somehow to just be me while the government pays me to be on SSD and stay contained within yet another method of handling.

What’s more is that, aside from all my trauma conditioning and entraining while within Dark Fleet…that’s not all. I have to keep trying to gain attention to my story because it’s ongoing and innocent people are still being harmed by my family while I’m alive here, on Earth.

It’s hell to be me …is how it feels.


The white coats called me an Autistic Savant. “Her spacial cognizance is off the charts”. I have forever memory yet I’m now forced to deal with it through inhibited speech centers. My neural relays are scattered so it’s hard. It’s like having a silent movie, no words or even a common language with which to relay my information. I have it all, but some things are still out of order, so to speak. That’s a good way to say it.

I have been lobotomized. I have better shit to do than make this up and speak it out. Two times, I was lobotomized. The second time, I was overseeing the surgeon from my astral body, above, and I was fascinated by what I was seeing. Ever since, I’ve loved loved any kind of surgical stitching and procedures. I even contemplated becoming a surgeon in my 20’s. Anyway, I have a neural chip in my head from that last procedure. This is not news to other survivors of various programs, and that’s not the only place where I have hardware in my body. I’ve been tagged and chipped and many other MK Ultra type survivors have, too. When there are solar storms/coronal mass ejections or other solar weather disruptions/radiations…I get excruciating pain and can barely handle, on a physical pain scale, the amplifying that the solar energy does while interacting with my neural hardware. It’s real as the realest shit our there. I can’t wait for med beds to go mainstream down here. Speaking of that…I used tech up there that makes med beds look antiquated. There is technology which I used, that looks like a light uv sanitizing wand but it will regrow an arm that’s been blown off. Med Beds are super cool but super lame in comparison.

After thinking about it, it’s best not to say I HAVE forever memory, but instead say that I have the ABILITY to access any memory. I have it all, cognizantly, but I’m sometimes at a loss of how to access everything because, I’ve been neurologically messed with so much and my neural synapses are not all healed. Spacial cognizance means for me, that I CAN in the right frame of mind, access any information anywhere. It’s not true remote viewing, as I don’t quite believe I can be confined into that programmed way of accessing info, rather, I see everything based on it’s “node” and I see every node as connected across the Kosmos. I can go in as close as I want, to consciously view something, and there is nowhere within my level of awareness that I cannot mentally go. There are simply some places that are not meant to be viewed and should not be. In the realm of cognizant capability, I can “see” wherever I need to. Of course,there are many impacting factors to doing this, including my mental processor interpreting my consciousness into my physical reality, but…. well, someday I will meet another again, who understands my words and that will be nice. There are MANY more like me and there are a little over 25% of me and my Hundo kids left. Many many more people exist with this level of awareness. As a whole, humans all have this capability; we all simply have various places and levels of consciousness. The New Agey community (a CIA Psy op) call it “Ascending into another dimension”. Actually, many different groupings of people know it as this, and have spiritual beliefs based on where their conscious awareness is at. I don’t see it as good or bad or better that one person has higher awareness, because those who do not see as much at the MACRO level, like me, conversely exist more densely compressed into a lesser capacity of awareness, but they are able to see more of the microcosm. We all have to expand our consciousness as much as possible,eyes, to progress forward in existence, but as Starseeds on Earth, we have all taken different roles for different purposes, and thus, I don’t judge where another is at as “bad” or “good”. I’m at the MACRO level and too “out there” for many others to understand, but I have to work hard to understand what I see in the microcosm, which comes easily to others who don’t see as MUCH as me.

I have the ability to access any information because I can just locate and see it, but as it relates to day to day life, and being autistic and feeling like every nerve ending is exposed at all times…I tend to block and tune out much of it all just to get through to another day. So, once I block it out, I still find myself operating with my broken synapses and staying out of the macrocosm as a means of self preservation almost. It’s hard to go back and forth and live day to day, so that, too impacts me and my vision.

The Hundo Kids

Last I consciously tuned in, there are very few of us hund kids still alive. My compadres, many of them, killed themselves or died due to the auto destruct type mental programming we had, many were handled and contained/dead. It’s absolute hell what we went through, and back here, we go through so much reliving of the unspeakable traumas when we are breaking out of the silent years and “waking up”.

I’ll read this again tomorrow to see if I can make it make more sense in words.

Suffer Through Silence

It’s absolutely excruciating…having a two bit mental processor when I need a quantum computing system with AI/neural assist. I have so much to say and convey but it’s 2000mph at a consciousness level and yet my speech centers operate at 2mph.

In addition to this horrific situation, I’m met with deniers of reality. A fair portion of my audience seem to believe the world they live on is flat…in stark contrast to the planetary bodies around us…which they also don’t believe exist. It’s insanity. Dark Ages type insanity.

I’ve been metaphorically, and physically, cannibalized for my intellectual property as well as the blood in my veins. I have been walked into a warehouse, off world, where I was shown nothing but more of me. Clones. The point of showing me this was to make me capitulate to my Network handlers. They told me they could resurrect me forever. It was such a hopeless feeling at that moment. (The spirit has ONE life and only bodies die.) Between bouts of being hooked up to the amplifying chair on my German handlers blackest of invisible black ships…I would be raped so horrifically that I would die in one clone and wake up inside a kennel, within another me clone, already being traumatically choked and raped at other times. My life is inexplicable to these deniers of reality, yet it is more real than most of the shit on Twitter. Me and the other 99 of us “hund” kids were completely isolated from each other in Dark Fleet. Never told about each other. We all were cannibalized for our 70/30 ratio consciousnesses which physically, on the Adrenochrome blood topic …provides a super ripped high to those who partook… We were a super Psy kind of kid collective. Many others are 60/40 and other psy children in Navy SSP Psy kid programs are 50/50. This was a ratio grading system for our cognizant capacity. “You see biggest” is what they would tell me. Me and the 99 others consciously found each other and held “board meetings” over our German handlers heads. We were isolated and given drug tonics and traumatized beyond belief then hooked up to super tech which other ssp’s don’t have. They had to keep us in cryostasis so we wouldn’t mentally take them down when we were otherwise idle. I’m speaking absolutely literally. The humans on Earth have no clue what the humans of Earth are capable of. On Earth, we are repressed into submission. On Dark Fleet ships, we were beyond their containment in amplified status, so they would cryostasis us to contain and control us while being drugged into that hyper amplified status while between being put to work on the ships.

I am a seer of sorts. I see the Kosmos like a neural net/mycelial network and can consciously nav anywhere. I was used for much more than classical remote viewing. They were learning us as they went along because we were capable of more than they will ever be able to quantify still. I have been in oh so many “back n forths” which other people call “20 and back”(not me). Some of mine like the first one, was 17 years. I lived that first round until 21 aboard my ship. Then, age regressed and time reduced as I called it…dropped back to 4 and into this linear situation again. This is over some people’s heads, but since I was always kept forever at any age in my best four year old alter, I have only four year old words. It makes it so hard to speak about things now. When they used us up completely, they did neural stuff to us to screw up our speech centers, or that’s what they did to me, at least. I e been on more back n forths than I can quantify. I heard Corey Goode say that it is basically not possible by his own recounting of details. That is horse shit. He was not Dark Fleet. Dark Fleet is like other black projects to the power of a hundred. We found and took technologies that I’m sure are still unknown in the lower eschalon type ssp’s.

All humans are beyond comprehension, able to consciously surpass oh so very much that holds us collectively back in our evolution, at this time. Humans just need to wake up.

I recognize that many people in the Navy are white hats and others good these days, but growing up in my world…the Navy personnel were anything but. My dad’s family are all Navy and I have been traded and sold to high up brass and at least one SEAL. The Navy has all kinds of secrets in space tech and programs. This photo substantiates my claims of our dark and foreboding military industrial complex. No longer just a conspiracy, now is it.


I frequently offend people by speaking truths. Some people cross MY boundaries by speaking about sexual matters; which I find repulsive and predatory. Those same type of people, however, for some reason, get offended at my directness and my “black and white”/cut and dry manners of speech. I don’t belch at the dinner table or wear my shoes in the house, but what I also do not do is dance circles around difficult subjects. Either you’re FOR me or you’re my ENEMY. I have more years lived with no one believing what was happening to me; than I will ever reserve for pointless drivle in conversations. If you are offended that I don’t do conversational foreplay while those I speak for are dying–then you are a waste of my time and invading my space. Pick a side!

No. I don’t.

What faith I did learn to have in men at all…is broken.

“Lighten up”

Possibly, it’s due to my black and white Autistic mind frame. Possibly I’m just too serious. Possibly, it’s because ironic jokes are only funny for those whose worst day is due to bad hair.

What I’m saying is this: there are these jokes and hypothetical questions that float around in public spaces, like “what would you say to a kidnapper…” Blah blah blah. These weird hypothetical questions and jokes are absurd to anyone who has had to live through being kidnapped, traumatized and tortured repeatedly over their entire life. Another hypothetical/ironic question is about the worst thing that could possibly traumatize you beyond all recognition. I’m not sure anything I’m saying makes sense, but from my special needs and traumatized brain…there ain’t nothing hypothetical about those stupid questionnaires that go around. Everyone’s answers are a smack in the face to anyone who is still alive after going through it (over and over and over mind you…) and any answer I could give carries weight and is true as true blue. ….but I get to read other people’s idiot responses about bad hair days and whatever else. Everytime I find one of these questionnaires from someone online, I think of how either 1) they are sheltered beyond belief from my reality or 2) no one will ever comprehend how real my life is when they make such supposedly hypothetical jokes as if they could never happen.

Of course, if given half a chance, I usually comment something obtuse and blunt because …who cares. …but the point is that every person who answers these idiotic questionnaires…they are agreeing on the premise of the joke being completely hypothetical and implausible. Smack me in the face why don’t ya. (I feel like hypothetically smacking these nimrods right back.) How could they be so redundant and find only the shallowest of idiotic, hypothetical jokes to laugh at? They might think I’m a buzz kill and too serious, but the truth is that when I do laugh…it’s over their heads. Don’t laugh at my life you fucking dipshits. Don’t laugh at the supposed hypotheticals, either–us victims of such hypothetical situations are in number around you in every direction and as far as your tiny eyes can see. Wake up.

This is my mental space. I don’t always have words so I fill in the blanks when I get ’em.

To the anons who suggest it is stupidity to use ones’ name, like me:

How useful are you? You hide behind your handles and incognito profiles to what end? Some of us victims use our full names because we have never been allowed anonymity to begin with. In addition to this, we would rather speak truth (since our lives are already in danger) and go down fighting instead of scared like little bitches. What say you? Anybody feel like being brave for a good cause, too? Thanks for your Flynn-enabled digital soldiering. I just wouldn’t want to live so …safely…having forgotten that those you supposedly fight for…don’t get that option.


Prepare your ears. I’m still unravelling and swearing helps me speak at all.

I just want to SMACK reality into some people. People who act like I’m a fuck up for being the one to STICK UP for the rest of us victims …are the ones who need a fucking wake up call. #pandaeyes is maybe that wake up call. The people who invented this hashtag are the ones I’m fighting against. In addition to panda symbolism, there is also trash panda symbolism that other pedos use, like my father and his grooming toy: Rocky the raccoon. “Raccoon eyes” is the same as “Panda eyes”. It refers to the bruising around the victim’s eyes due to blunt force sodomizing.

WAKE THE FUCK UP from your stupid, myopic world view where Willy Wonka is a good guy (along with his symbolic rivers of sodomized kid shit) –and where Disney’s not the devil. Become useful.

Misappropriated Charity and Outsourced Intellect

It is so exhausting; dealing with humans at all. For most of my life, I didn’t have words. It’s like having a silent movie of discombobulated memories; some abstract and others more concrete.

Nowadays, when I do talk to people, they either glaze over like trauma conditioned slaves, think I’m lying so I can get attention, think I’m fucked up in the head maybe due to chronic drug use or some other crap misdiagnosis…or they think that instead–what I’m asking them to listen to, demands professional help…because no one who is sane would say this stuff out loud.

I’m sick of fighting for the lives of countless innocent victims …only to be looked at like I AM A SCREW UP.

I mean WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK is wrong with someone who thinks I’m a fuck up for still being alive after the life I’ve had and calling attention to the murderers and rapists who are STILL MURDERING AND RAPING?

Somehow, I must have done something wrong, somewhere along the line, right?… because, these people incorrectly misidentify me as anything but…valid.

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK. Keep your useless charity to yourself. You can’t possibly be of use to those I’m speaking up for. They need humans with open arms who love unconditionally. They need somebody who would never assume a victim must have been asking for it–or that karma simply gave ’em what was theirs. Critical Thinking is called for.

Not an exhaustive list:












Pro Sports




I can swing a bat in any direction and always hit a “Pedovore”…

This list is by no means exhaustive, yet it starts telling my story of who bought, tortured and raped me….usually being bled through a bite in a crucial place. A lot of people in civil places of respectability…

…like that judge who raped me all night at The Red Lion INN in Bellevue …and left me next to the laundry/trash on the floor for the maid in the morning. Dad picked me up outside usually in the morning, but this time he had to induct the maid who found me and get me back down to the car.

After these night jobs for Dad for certain ones like that big judge, I would be inducted, by Dad, back into one of my daytime alters, go through the day with feelings of …just really bad dreams and uncounted-for exhaustion… while I was home schooled. During my teen years, I spent a bit of time looking dead. My first driver’s license looked so horrible because I looked like I had been drained of blood the night before. (Back when I was 5/6 etc, I was even supplemented with liquid iron on a spoon.)

What’s that, now? We are NOT a Judeo-Christian nation? USA is NOT CHRISTIAN. Treaty of Tripoli.

Etymologically, the archaic English “mussulman” is derived from the Ottoman Turkish (and earlier Persian) “mosalmun[mosælmɒn] ” (look it up here) , which both mean “Muslim”. Which probably derived from the Arabic word “Musliman”, equivalent to “Muslim” or “Muslimoon” plural of Muslim.

Cognitive Dissonance

Ah… The old familiar sting of finding out that I’m too much for someone. It never stops hurting. I never get calloused to it, even though its been the majority of my interactions with others over the years.

I can be PHYSICALLY present before someone, look in their eyes and see everything there is to know about that person–including their disbelief at my words–but I see that spark of intuition and years worth of problem solving along with a fair % of intellect. I, incorrectly, assume that they will utilize that intellect to see my obvious truth and join my cause of saving children. Psyche! “This is a special case”. There must be something wrong with a lady who won’t stop screaming about babies getting raped to death, right? I mean NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THIS, WHICH IS WHY I HAVE TO KEEP TALKING. It is difficult, being in a position of speaking TRUTH that no one wants to hear. I don’t get to talk about cuddly kittens and warm, fuzzy puppies, like some people. While we are on the subject: If a 17 year old girl ends up dead on the street and you don’t look for who was trafficking/harming/influencing her–instead blaming her choice to run away from home–what is acceptable about this line of thinking? WHAT, pray tell, is wrong with YOU?

I must be SO crazy because I won’t shut up over something as important as my firstborn being raped to death and CANNIBALIZED by closet Satanists, right? Wrong! WAKE UP!!!!!! What the HELL is wrong with your mindset? I used to think I was the slave in every room I entered…

Selfish sidenote: I hate finding out that I’m over someone’s pay grade or cognitive capacity. “This girl needs some extra special help” or “I don’t have enough experience dealing with cases like yours”. It hurts like hell and I should know because I’ve been there, too. I wish others were willing to use as much of their intellect as I have been forced into using, myself, from a very young age.

Repression of Rage

I am going to be giving a voice to the anger, which in part due to repression, has simultaneously repressed my immune system; resulting in auto immune dysfunction.

Prepare yourself.

In this video, he discusses the inborn Rage which is healthy and natural for the human brain. There is unhealthy repressed rage, then healthy expressed rage.

I posit that humans, as a collective, shy away from expressing healthy rage due to fear of rejection and social conditioning. As he points out in this video; a mother bear expresses healthy rage if her cubs are threatened. I have so so many years of repressed rage.

The Deconstruction Process

Us MK Ultra (and successive mind control programs) slave kids were all programmed the same in one regard: our unravelling process.

It is hard to meet even one other slave who thinks we have anything in common. Trust me, I inner-stand this pain–most intensely. Most people can believe a lifetime full of sodomizing rapes, but they will never believe I’ve been fed on by vampirical people for the blood in my veins. Most people tune out when I mention secret space programs and government technology and projects in the sky and underground. Most people that believe in that last statement at all…check out when I say I’m a survivor of those projects, or that I’ve been lobotomized with hardware in my brain and more. Most people have a reality OFF switch which gets tripped pretty quickly. Thing is, that is not the worst of my story. These people can’t seem to handle what happened to me on Earth, let alone in an SSP. I don’t talk about Dark Fleet which is a CIA and greater Network FACT but operates in the blackest of black sites conscionable. Most people have absolutely no basis in their conscious awareness for onboarding the flat facts of my story and many survivors call me, myself, an MK Ultra’d psy-op because they personally, believe in a flat Earth.

Us slaves, during our unravelling, are programmed to take each other out at the knees; instead of unite and take down our mutual enemy.

Mommy Issues

My chronic, emotional pain hurts acutely.

So many women did horrific things to me.

My birth mother discarded me; in trade for six children whom she did want.

So many replacement maternal figures who, for one reason or another, just couldn’t or wouldn’t stay in my life.

I bare it all to the world, now, because I can’t handle any more rejection and I need to feel heard by an imaginary audience, who I also imagine; care deeply.

It feels that no one could ever grasp my enduring pain.

Some mother’s die and offer closure. My mother just doesn’t care much; being enslaved in submission to my prior traffickers. I’m wishfully hoping to break her out.

I know what it’s like to be hidden away, disassociated from the rest of my reality. I, also,want to give up on my mother, but I have to keep holding on so she can catch my energetic ripples… in time. Maybe my traumas and coping and healing will make the way easier.

You have no idea how much I love you, Mother.


38 years of repressed words. Technically, I suppose it is 42 linear years of repressed words. It is just that I was diagnosed as an autistic savant when I was four. That is when I received those descriptors and soon after, had them stolen.

Its like trying to fit my square edges into a round situation. Square peg; round hole.

Every set of descriptive words is based on the baseline of being non-autistic. Since when did the baseline of being “normal” ever appear normal to me? Every set of words whatsoever, ever given to me, was based on a perspective which was never mine. I am happily abnormal. Put me into your world, and take away my words, and I still don’t want to be “normal”. Every sliding scale perspective of viewing anyone “on the spectrum” is based on having that beginning perspective of being “normal”.

My spectrum is outside your field of vision and I never could be encapsulated by, or quantified by, your ROYGBIV spectrum which IS in your field of vision anyway.

UGH. I still lack so many words. No matter what, I dont want to fit into anyone’s “normal” world. Its too amazing out here. The only pain from the whole situation, comes from trying to relate to someone who thinks I’m abnormal; trying to reduce myself to fit into the dictionary which is supposed to define me.

That Nasty RINO Senator named Murkowski

How can I draw attention to my cause. It’s mandatory if justice is to be served. This senator needs to be unseated and hung with the other traitorous “pedophiles” in Congress and our government. How can I portray what needs to be portrayed without all my words, yet. “She” (Lisa) is one of the more evil of sadistic types out there and I experienced her abuse from a young age up until my mid teens. I was not her only traumatized piece of trash, either. One time, she brought one of her other pets along on a visit to me. I actually felt jealous, somehow, undoubtedly due to Stockholm syndrome. How on earth can I validate for people the depravity of this person so they can see fit to oust her from government. I was also caught in her web of governmental overreach, through agencies in Alaska which operate as subsidized charities, but are instead trafficking women and children. I was caught in her web in some form up until four years ago. I’m now 42.

She should not be permitted to walk down the road in any state. “She” is an absolutely demon infested sadist and torturous child rapist.

Trolls and Trust

To that woman who got offended in my chat last month over the topic of “discernment” and that interview released on 2/22…

Trust is earned, woman. Don’t be a manipulator. You said “I know how hard it must be for you to trust people”. NO, no you don’t. I do, conversely, imagine, based on your projecting, that it is quite hard for you. For me? Cut and dry, baby. Trust is earned. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something or lacking in intellect.

I don’t expect friends from my chat, but I also didn’t expect such outright manipulative behavior.

My Dua

I’m so tired of praying for friendship.

Every friend I’ve ever had was either a mind controlled slave, like me, or a handler.

Imagine: every friend who suddenly was discovered as “having so much in common with me” was actually taking orders, or taking money.


I’m sure holding my tongue, because the damage is already done in these people’s circumstances…

I’m watching YouTubers, who got vaxxed, having expected medical issues. One person just suffered a traumatic miscarriage, another is having heart problems and one lost an infant. It is so textbook…”what to expect” based on VAERS reported issues. FeIt’s taking every bit of my self control to ask them “What were you thinking?!”

I will make Dua for the Med Beds to arrive.

Tagging Murkowski Again

Last time I tagged Senator Murkowski on Twitter, I was shut down. I’m not done talking or raising hell, so here we go once again. She needs to be known for the demon “she” is.

Human Flesh on Food TV Channel

Please excuse the cursing in the title…

It’s very insatiably addicting. I was forced to eat it during rituals. One time right off the body on the table. It’s an insane ravenous hunger feeling. It’s like demons inside screaming for more. These are MY memories; toned down to PG.


At times, I wish the world, collectively, would go get high so they are forced to have some expanded thoughts. It seems that most people around have limited thoughts only; never completing the sentence in their mind. They instead cut off conscious thought at their comfort zone. This is very bad math and is frustrating for me.

One such incomplete thought which I’ve noticed in a large part of the enlightenment community is that of humans being CReators. People far and wide speak about our race as though we originate so many new creative thoughts. This is bad math in the ultimate. Everything IS already. There IS only NOW and due to the nature of infinity being one within itself, all that has happened before will happen again. We experience different standpoints in this NOW as time. This NOW is part of the creation.

We INnovate, but it is only pride and bad math which makes anyone claim to be a CReator. Together; or alone; we are NOT GOD.

Finish that thought. Meditate on it until it takes shape in your mind. Then see how and where it takes you. Expand your conscious awareness. We are some profoundly intricate works of art, but together, we are STILL not God. We equal one, and together we are Source, but Source itself is the creaTION, not the Creator. Source is our spiritual tether to our Creator; from within the experience of creaTION.

Chosen People and Genocide

It’s so depressing, to me, to see how many fundamentalist Zionist Christians there are. These people feel that the god of their understanding is psychopathic, as portrayed in the Bible.

Again I ask: who would serve such a “God”? This is absolutely abominable.

One Fine Day

One day, it will be so nice to not have to hold my tongue about my life story simply because my fellow man cannot believe it.

In addition to enduring horrors of the most horrific classification, I’ve also had some of the most stellar and awesome experiences not known to most of mankind.

I long to tell my stories of being out there, without having to have my narrative approved of by some New Age-y CIA appointed YouTuber acting as a handler.

My story kicks ASS! That is to say, if I focus on the rest that was not traumatic…

This is not a comparison about me being better or worse than another survivor. There are plenty more survivors of Dark Fleet and as for me, I’m tired of sitting back… listening to some Druidic New Agey quasi -Luciferian YouTuber…try to portray to me how things are “Out there” as a self established expert. I cannot wait for my brothers and sisters from the program to wake up so we can tell the truth from our very valid perspectives, on life outside of Earth–and more than just within the confines of Dark Fleet.

Spacial Cognizance

This picture helps visually display how I see my neural connections in my brain.

I have an entirely mathematical mind and I can look at life through the math I see overlaying everything. The big difference between me and mathematicians is that I don’t see math in numbers, but at times I see numbers in the mix. It feels so much more simplistic but comprehensively complex, how I see things. It is hard not to be able to translate it so that I can utilize it for others’ sake, but it’s not something based in/on base 10 math.

The Body Bag

Did I tell you about that one Saturdays hypnotic induction which Dad gave me?

I walked downstairs in our split level Edmonds home, when I was close to 10, and looked through the 70’s style roll down blinds to see Dad under our back porch, moving a body that was in two black trash bags stuck together. Dad’s spidey senses are animalistic and he looked up to see me at that exact moment. In less than a second, or perhaps it felt that way cuz I froze solid, he was in the basement through the side door. He put his hand on the back of my neck and told me to go upstairs and forget what I saw. — I did. I went up and sat on the edge of my bed and repeated my phrase until I had wiped it from my mind.

They did this to me so very many times. Some times things were more terrifying than others. They never really accounted for my “instilled” programs breaking, though, and me connecting to my spacial cognizance again.

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

My predatory maternal Grandma used to tell me the story of “The boy who cried wolf” when I was little and was begging her to believe my secrets. It made me feel hopeless at a young age and served it’s silencing purpose.

Truth is: my mother’s parents are sick, too. I was presented to adults by them as well. I watched a transaction go down between Dad and Grandpa at Grandpa’s retirement party, too. (A gift.)

It’s a generational sickness, this MK Ultra family that I come from. What did Aunt Kathy used to say? “What one generation does in moderation, the next one does to excess”. My paternal grandpa was a murderous and sexually ravenous monster, so what then, would I call my brother?